Random Thoughts, Truths and Rants: 4.3.10 | 11:45a
I really am having a hard time this year getting anything together, for some reason, I can't seem to find my muse. Yeah, that's right I believe in muse's, and mine is on vacation. I do the things that need to be done, but not with my full attention. I want to create something outstanding, at least, something that I find outstanding. I want to impress myself with some new creation that blows my socks off, but so far, nothing has.

I'm really obsessed with this stupid Facebook thing, I don't know why, I'm not a social butterfly, I like solitude, I must; I spend at least 12 hours alone a day. I did have a good time in New York City, after returning I seem to be in a real slump, more so then before leaving. Then before we left someone tried to break in our apartment again, and that wasn't comforting to think about. I'm still not over the last break in and that was a few years ago, and then again! But, we do what we have to do and hope for the best. Then after the water pipe burst in Dec. 2009, even the apartment itself isn't safe, and no matter how much you protect your "stuff", sometimes, I guess you can't.

Let's talk about the human body next, yeah, I turned 55, I thought I had at least two more years before I got old, but guess not. When we came out of the subway in NYC, I was out of breath, totally shocked me that I couldn't walk up a flight of steps, I use to walk 4 to 6 miles a day, wtf!! Then I have a itchy spot on my leg and the Dr. says it's in ingrown hair, two months?!! whatever! Then the other aches and pains and crap that goes with getting old, I'm not ready to get old yet, but, what can I do about it, exercise, eat right, sleep, yeah, right, tell me about really doing that...

Being in NY was fun, especially seeing Times Square, there were so many people all the time. The place was fun, I found my cheap place to buy beer and water, always like doing that. Why spend more then it's worth. I found a spot in Vegas too, that's probably one reason I like going on these "work vacations". Get the best and the cheapest at the same time. Eating at Sardi's was cool, a bit "old fashion" but still cool. I saw an actress on the street, but I can't remember her name, I have that problem, remembering faces but not names, oh well. I was surprised how small NYC was, getting around "hot spots" was like just around the corner. Judy wanted to go on this 2 hour night bus ride to WTC, but for some reason I didn't want to, 2 hours! and almost a hundred bucks! I've already been to Soho and WTC when the towers were still standing in 1981, maybe I just didn't want to see a hole in the ground where the towers once stood, at least still in my memory. And the whole 911 thing, frakkin' blew me away anyways, I was shocked by it, we live in the flight path of SeaTac, and for years watching planes fly by just brought back the planes slamming into WTC, but I'm slowly getting over that, still think about it when I see a plane flying a little faster then usual when approaching.

We flew American Airlines to NY and Delta coming back, we're pretty loyal to USAIR and Alaska, still haven't cashed in on our miles, we should, because, American and Delta were actually maybe better then USAIR and (Alaska/Horizon is still good, you can upgrade to first class and they still serve food in FC), but not on Air Tran, free drinks but no food, except chips and cookies in FC, what's up with that?!

Random Thoughts, Truths and Rants: 7.12.10 | 02:15p
My Aunt died Saturday, again, I find out by way of the internet, it's a good thing I'm so into being on the web, otherwise, I'd never know anything! Anyway, does it bother me, sure it does, but after my mother and uncle, I just shrug it off, I say I do, but I don't, but what the heck, I decided to move 3000 miles away, guess it's my fault really, plus I don't really call that much or even visit at all, not that I don't want to, just circumstances prevent it lately. Anyway, ranting in my own silence, because that's really how I'm mourning the lost of one side of my family. The Thanksgiving table and Christmas's use to be 7, it's now just my dad and me. It is sad, my mother's side of the family is gone now, and the lost is on a DNA level, I can actually feel it, the absence.

I'm too Depressed: 12.09.10 | 02:11p
I was on Facebook today, thinking I haven't heard from Eileen yet, since I befriended her on Sunday, it's been a few days, so I went to her profile page, and really took the time to view it. I saw that she was thinner than usual and looking ill, her hair was gone, and I finally figured it out. So I googled her name and of course, there it was, Eileen's obituary. You really can't know how you'll react, I guess it's shock, shock that she was sick and shock that she died last year this month, 2 days shy of her 50th birthday. She was a great person, and I'm crying now, even though, it's been over an hour since I found out, I'm just numb again, it has to be the shock.